What to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving: Comforting and Supportive Words

When someone you care about is grieving, it can be difficult to find the right words. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or unintentionally adding to their pain. But offering support, even in the simplest way, can make a profound difference. Here are some thoughtful and compassionate things you can say to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one.

1. Acknowledge Their Pain

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and acknowledging someone's loss is one of the most important things you can do. Simple, heartfelt words can provide comfort.

• "I’m so sorry for your loss."

• "I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you."

• "My heart goes out to you during this painful time."

2. Offer Support Without Pressure

Many grieving individuals may not know what they need. Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," which places the burden on them, offer specific ways to help.

• "I’m here for you. Would you like me to bring you a meal or run an errand for you?"

• "If you ever feel like talking, I’m always here to listen."

• "Would you like some company? We don’t have to talk—just sit together if that feels right for you."

3. Share a Fond Memory

If appropriate, sharing a memory of their loved one can bring comfort and remind them that their loved one’s presence continues in the hearts of others.

• "I remember how your mother’s laughter could light up a room. She had such a beautiful spirit."

• "Your brother was such a kind soul—I’ll never forget the time he helped me when I was struggling."

• "Your loved one made a real difference in this world. Their memory will live on."

4. Validate Their Emotions

Grief comes in waves, and people experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness to anger to numbness. Letting them know their feelings are valid can be reassuring.

• "It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling right now."

• "There is no right or wrong way to grieve—just take it one moment at a time."

• "You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to let yourself grieve."

5. Keep Checking In

Support shouldn't end after the funeral. Grief lasts longer than most people realize, and ongoing support can mean the world.

• "I’m thinking of you today—how are you feeling?"

• "I know it’s been a few months, and I just wanted to check in. I’m still here for you."

• "I remember that your dad’s birthday is coming up. Would you like to do something special to honor him?"

6. When Words Fail, Presence Speaks

Sometimes, words aren’t necessary. Simply being there—whether in person, on a phone call, or through a heartfelt message—can provide comfort beyond words.

• Sit with them in silence.

• Hold their hand or offer a warm hug (if welcomed).

• Send a simple text: "Thinking of you today."

What Not to Say

While most well-intended, some phrases can feel dismissive or unhelpful:

• “They’re in a better place now.” (Even if meant with kindness, this may not bring comfort to someone in deep pain.)

• “Everything happens for a reason.” (Grief often doesn’t feel logical, and this phrase can seem dismissive.)

• “At least they lived a long life.” (Grief isn’t measured by years—it’s measured by love.)

• “You should be feeling better by now.” (There’s no timeline for grief.)

Final Thoughts

The most important thing you can do is to show up with kindness and an open heart. Grief is a long and personal journey, but knowing they are not alone can help ease the weight of their sorrow. Your words—no matter how simple—can be a source of light during their darkest days.